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She only grew flowers now。 She used to grow vegetables till people began stealing them。 She wouldn't have minded if they ate them； but most of them were smashed against walls or thrown through windows。 Still； the flowers were pretty and a stark contrast to the ugliness of the asphalt and Dumpsters。 Mariel loved the garden； but it was harder to grow things ever since the high rise went up across the courtyard。 It was an office building； all glass and steel。 Mariel hated its sealed glass windows。
Once long ago； Mariel had a friend who lived in the building that used to be where the office building now stood。 Sometimes when the kids were at school； Marie！ would meet Gertie for coffee and talk。 In the summers their kids played in the courtyard together； and Mariel and Gertie would visit or garden。 Gertie moved to Florida years ago and was long dead now； and the building she lived in was ten years gone。
Mariel's life in the apartment had started out quietly； just her and Phillip。 Then the children had e； filling their lives with activity and stress； stress she missed now。 When the three children were growing up Mariel had lots of friends； most of them the parents of their children's friends。 Phillip's work gave them friends too。 There was business entertaining and dinner parties。 If they weren't guests； they were hosts。 They were involved in their children's schools too。 School plays； music lessons； and a myriad of other activities kept them constantly on the go。 Mariel had scarcely a minute to herself in those days and relished the few hours a week she could sit by the window and listen to the sounds。 Then the children had grown。 Now they all lived in other states and called infrequently。 She had Phillip for a few years after the children were gone； and many friends still； mostly connected with Phillip's work。 Then Phillip died suddenly； and with him went the parties and many of her friends。 Soon all Mariel had were acquaintances； no friends。 Now she only went out three times a week； and then only to do shopping。 She used to go to church on Sunday； but then the church had closed and moved to a new location in a better neighborhood。 Now Mariel watched church on TV； but it was hard to make church friends through a TV。 Her life was quiet now； like the end of the arguments she listened to over the years。 Mariel longed for the activity again； for someone to argue with。
Mariel looked up at the sky for stars。 But the bright moon and city lights meant she couldn't see any。 The city wasn't the place to look at stars； Mariel knew。 She never had a good view； of course； but when she had something to do； something to occupy her time； she never thought about stars。
Now Mariel thought about the stars and the moon； and other things； a lot。 Her oldest son wanted her to move to Ohio with him。 She could see the stars there； he assured her。 But she didn't want that。 She didn't want a piece of his life。 She wanted her own life； even if it was mostly memories now。 No； she would live in the apartment until she became a memory too。
Mariel turned on the TV and flipped through the channels with the remote control。 As usual there was nothing on she wanted to watch。 Sometimes she thought of getting cable TV。 The television guide told her she could get shows like 〃Father Knows Best〃 and 〃Mr。 Ed〃 on cable。 It was expensive； though； and she hated paying for what she should be getting for free。 She finally settled the dial on a situation edy。 The laugh track told her the jokes were supposed to be funny； but they weren't。 They were bathroom jokes for the most part； and Mariel had never liked that kind of humor and she didn't appreciate the filthy language in her home。 She turned the channel to a TV movie。 A young couple were kissing open…mouthed。 The woman was naked from the waist up； and Mariel could see the side of her left breast pressed up against the man's bare chest。 Mariel had been shocked the first time she had seen this on TV； but now it was routine and boring。 She supposed the networks would soon have to show all of the actress's breast to keep people interested； and she only hoped she wouldn't live long enough to have that on her TV screen。 She clucked her tongue at the half…naked couple； then turned the channel just as the couple fell onto a bed。 She tried the rest of the channels but it was more of the same。
Mariel turned off the TV and turned on the radio。 There was lots of filth on the radio now too； but you could still find something worth listening to if you searched。 They ran old radio shows sometimes； and there was big band music if she wanted that。 Tonight； though； she wanted to listen to talk； and there was lots of talk on the New York City airwaves。 Mariel tuned in one of her favorites。 She wasn't loyal to any of the shows。 If they talked of sex or politics； or if they ran down religion； she would tune them out。 Mariel had long ago settled her opinions on all those topics。
Tonight people were calling in with movie trivia questions or just to talk about favorite scenes from films。 Mariel settled in to listen。 For a while they talked about last lines in movies。 Mariel knew the last line in The Wizard of Oz right away； it was 〃Oh； Auntie Em； there's no place like home。〃 She also knew the last line from Gone With the Wind； but it took three callers to get 〃tomorrow is another day。〃 Everyone kept guessing 〃Frankly； my dear； I don't give a damn。〃 Mariel was enjoying the movie memories； trying to remember where and with whom she had seen the movie。 Then someone changed the topic to actors who played James Bond。 Mariel had seen some of the James Bond movies with Phillip but never liked them。 They were too violent； and Mr。 Bond was certainly oversexed。 Still； she remembered both Sean Connery and Roger Moore had played James Bond。 Someone called in to say that David Niven had played James Bond too； in a movie called Casino Royal。 She'd never seen it but couldn't imagine David Niven as James Bond。 David Niven was a gentleman； he wouldn't behave like that secret agent。 She would have searched for another station； but she was waiting to hear who the fourth actor was who played James Bond。 She was still rocking； crocheting； and listening by her open window when she drifted off to sleep。
Mariel woke when her head hit the floor； but she kept her eyes tightly shut till the pain and shock subsided。 Opening her eyes to total darkness； Mariel found herself and her chair tipped over onto the floor； and the only light was moonlight from the window。 The power was out again。 Mariel still hurt from the fall… and because she was old； she admitted it to herself； she knew there was real danger of breaking bones from even a small fall。
She lay still； waiting for the pain to seep away so she could feel her bones； but now she began to think she was deaf。 There were no city sounds as there should be outside her window。 Mariel felt her legs and arms。 She would be sore for a month but nothing was broken。 She felt around on the floor for her glasses； found them in one piece； and put them on。 Then she got slowly to her feet。
She needed candles and they were in the hall linen closet。 Mariel started forward； confident of her footing even in the dark； but she took only two steps before she kicked something on the floor。 She bent down and picked up the blue vase from her end table。 Whatever had knocked Mariel over had knocked off her vase； Mariel proceeded cautiously after that and found the floor littered with lamps； pillows； and knickknacks。 The contents of her apartment had been tossed around； as if by a hurricane。 Slowly she walked down the hall to the closet； carefully testing the floor before she placed each foot。
The candles were where they should be and she found a holder with them。 Unfortunately the matches were in the kitchen。
The candlelight lit up the room like a search light。 It was a mess。 Dishes and canned goods had fallen from the cupboards； littering the floor and counters。 Mariel lit another candle； securing it with dripped wax on a plate。 In the living room she set up two more candles and then used the one in the holder to look for her portable radio in her bedroom。
There she found broken glass all over her bedspread and on th